Recipe for disaster.

1 evening alone.
1 clumsy lesbian (if you can find one going through some kind of emotional crisis thats better, and lets face it what Lezbo aint!).
1 Big bottle of red wine (cheap and acidic)
6-8 cigarettes.
1 award show full of HOT people.
1 staircase.

Make the sure the lesbian is good and beligerant before the award show starts, just so as the speeches immediately trigger tears/anger in the lesbian. Now, after about 4 accepatance speeches and the 20th shot of Nicole Kidmann, the lesbian is going to "turn" this is a bittering and hardening that happens any time you add more than 4 glasses o' wine to the lesbian. This will happen quickly so watch out for signs, such as screaming at the television with her eyes closed, calling Jennifer Anniston a cunt, and threatening to "snap Lara Flynn Boyle's back bone".
Around this time a little voice should tell the Lesbian that it IS a good idea to go out side, into the freezing dark night, to smoke a ciggarette (any brand is fine). Now, if she doesn't have a good sway going...maybe have her do a shot of her fathers single malt scotch first.
Remeber DO NOT turn on the outside light.
DO have her proceed down the outside stairs as fast as her thick legs will carry her.
She will be on a "high" from seing scenes from "Chicago" and this is a good time for her to express herslef through dance.
A leap from about the 7th step and then, pound the lesbians face into the fridgid earth.
Leave to refridgerate for about 10 minutes.
Serve face down.
-le Larry

stagolee

andre's fascination with stagger lee is infectious.

Dalai Lama really getting on my tits.

I'm trying. I really am. I want to be a more compassionate person, but the things they ask of ya! The Dalai Lama is smiling at me from the cover of his book and I am starting to become defensive. My mind plays tricks on me, it doesn't want me to change.
"if he's so wise, how come he has a silly name? maybe thats why he's smiling?", "why wear that much orange?", "has he watched "pretty woman"? Did he feel compassion for the horrid Rodeo Dr. sales women who were so mean to julia?
I will not give in to spiritual laziness and the curse of sarcasm. I want an open heart!
The mind wanders ...Finish the chapter entitled "Cultivating equanimity" or go check out the onion. ooooooh....mmmmmmmmm.......
I'll just have a quick look, but I'll remeber to feel compassion for those sick sarcastic bastards.
- le Larry.

charmed , I'm sure

first off, no, of course none of that last post was true - except maybe the cool water cologne part.

today I have to write a crap load of charmed trivia. ya, know, charmed, that wicca friendly show centered around three hottie sister witches with powers they must all use together to fight evil, whether it be fighting warlocks, demons, or overpriced jeans at fred segal's.

I have never seen this show, yet by the end of today I will know it as well as le larry's old roomate chris. that's saying a lot, too, apparently. I think he has the lunchbox.

granted, yes, they are hot, and thus I must be careful and not get too worked up and lose focus. thank god jenny sent me the mormon maturbation prevention page to help keep my desires in check. after reading this I have to question those righteous fighting witches. if they are so "against evil" and everything, why are they turning me on with such force that I may feel compelled to masturbate, which the mormons (i.e. God) have just told me is so sinful?

somehow I know by midday the dark side will have won me over, and there I will lie on the floor, spent, barely muttering the mantra: evil-icious. evil-icious.

I didn't mean to turn you on

I, kool bobby, have this problem lately with driving women crazy. i may have had this amazing power before, but I never really noticed it. maybe 'cause now I'm in hollywood surrounded by gorgeous models at every turn. did I say surrounded by gorgeous models ? I sure did.

what is it about me that draws them near and excites them so? my warm, deep and complex green eyes? my hunkish gait? maybe it's the fact that I submerge my undercarriage in cool water cologne. whatever the case, the ladies scream after me. someone help me. how can I keep them at bay? kool bobby only has time for one lover per day. ok maybe two, but that's it.

Finally someone is being charged with Mia Zapata's death.

Sorry to hog Kool Bobby's site, but check out joan jett's site for more info. this is good news after 10 years. OK, Seriously, I'll leave you alone for a while.
-Le Larry.

The dangerous Influence of film on a weak mind (or conversations in a bar at 3 am e.s.t).

from: le larry

Me: " I mean Dammit, I saw the Broadway show and I LOVED the movie... I'm sorry but,oh ma god Catherine Zeta Jones, so goood!"
Enabler: " Oh ma god!"
Me :" Seriously, I really feel like Its not to late to start taking dance lessons and get a vocal coach"
Enabler :"Do it!"
Me: " I could be on Broadway if I really went for it, maybe start with jazz tap"
Enabler: " Do it, You could so do it, I'm not just saying this..but you could do it"
Me: " You're right, I'm the only one stopping myself!"
Enabler :" Look at me, Look at me..."
Me: " What"
Enabler: " You've got it, You just have to know that and trust it and then the singing and dancing will come, I' m gonna be really pissed at you if you don't do it"

Le Larry est ici.

Everyone welcome a hot new addition to the Korner. Her name is Le Larry and she is the first ever field correspondent to KBK. She will be dishing out sweet and spicy servings from the dirty streets of our planet. god bless her. and now a word from le larry --


Hello.
Think of me as the Christian Amanpour of Kool Bobby's Korner, a roving reporter and Euro-trash connection. A Renegade, a loose canon, a perpertrator, perhaps even a deep under cover operative behind enemy lines in Lesbiland. I will provide observations - oh yes! not only that, but I promise that my observations will be mildly sarcastic, stupid and always full of spelling and grammatical errors. Don't you see? I've been pushed and now I'm a crazy Mo-Fo ..I'm a wild, loosecanon, renegade type and I ain't too old for this shit yet! So watch out Web..Le Larry est ici!

Exile on Cole Street

kool bobby is back you dirty bastards.

Welcome Back, Kool Bobby

Whither the KBK gif?