Do Not fuck With Me Please : A One Act Play

Cast of Characters

Jim ( may be called Jimmy ) - mid 20's. fun, kind of hip. sometimes gets freaked by his neighbor's dog. The dog, named Raphael, barks in Jim(my)'s direction. Jim swears sometimes they know what each other are thinking, especially when jim is stoned. Jim eats toast with peanut butter in the morning. Every morning. Then he goes back to sleep. Jim(my) works at Tower records, where he is persecuted daily by not being gay, like all the managers. Jim(my) has medium length hair. It is colored blue in spots by Jim. Traci colored it one bored night when they were high. Jim(my)'s father, walter, is a high school math teacher. geometry. Jimmy would completely bang the chicks if he was teacher. Jim isn't allowed to enter his father's school. This pisses him off, 'cause it's been years since that bullshit went down. fuck.


Traci - early 20's. tall. loves chewing gum. loves it. chews it all the time. she told her parents that's all she wanted in her stocking at christmas. of course they didn't do it. Traci sold flowers until she got fired for igniting tulip buds with a cheap 59 cent lighter from the cozy corner. shit, they're just plants. new ones come in everyday. it's fuckin bullshit. Traci, now officially bored, may try and lifeguard this summer, but she's not sure. the forms are a major hassle. plus whistle's are loud and give headaches. Traci used to have a tercel, but no one told her she had to get new tags each year. what the fuck is that about. she was pulled over twice. she tried to flirt with the pig, but he was so fat she couldn't do it, even faking it. anyway she never paid her ticket, so then she was pulled over later and they impounded - her - fucking - ride. what a big load of shit. now she sometimes takes the bus, but who wants to do that. so, she begs jimmy to borrow his dad's prism.

oh yeah jimmy and traci are boyfriend / girlfriend.

Coming Soon - the dramedy unfolds...