it's 6:10 am on day 2 of the personal cleansing I now refer to as the What the Fuck am I Doing program. I went and exercised for a short while last night, just to get the sweat going, then hopped in the steam shower for a few. I've heard horror stories of steam rooms in LA, so I tried not to look at any one else while I was in there. drank a 'green gekko' smoothie afterwards which carried me over until 8 pm, when I slowly drank a big glass of trader joe's vegetable juice. my body feels pretty darn good today minus the pains of hunger -- I think it was worth the brief paranoia for getting some toxic sweat out of the system. My mind is altogether a different story today. I had an unfortunate incident where a friend and I had to kind of call it quits for a while, perhaps a long while. I'm not used to this situation, plus we have numerous friends in common, some of whom are out here to be doing stuff with both of us. due to not smoking and the transition from yesterdays "I'm doin just fine" song and dance of not eating to this morning's protest from formerly unrepresented parts of my body, my head is fixated on the "friend" situation and I can't let it go. I think it's simply a case of bad timing as I am undergoing this already crazy program on the cusp of a very real and shitty situation - a situation which, right now, is the best for both of us, but right now the fixation is causing me to question my actions.

good morning day number 2 !