full metal jacket soundboard. perfect for those who need to be belittled...just - like - me.

baby-sitters to the stars. an interesting read. I could use one of these sitters here at the house to keep me from wasting hours reading articles like this.

waste some valuable tuesday timehere

I'll say this about the oscars: how can you give best director and best picture to a film and manage to leave out the actor who MADE the film ? isn't that strange? don't get me wrong, I am a big fan of denzel's. I saw training day and he, as usual, was amazing. I think he should have won for hurricane last year over russsel. but how does something like that happen?

this guy steals the crazy cake. from stunninglingus

both of my parents are wild withHoosier Hysteria

you know how sometimes you have to do a double take because some picture you see looks just like you? well this is one. this is so close to how I looked and what I was doin last weekend. damn there are a bunch of clowns stealin my stuff these days.

yeah, they're useful, but not worth having around in my opinion.
from helenjane

be kind to Russian immigrants in LA. but not too kind -- just tread lightly and quickly move on.

ahhhhhhh - spring must be close - it's tour announcement from watt time. no hint as to whose playing with him. there have also been rumors of a new album that this may be in support of. check your city and see if the mike watt and the secondmen "our oars became wings" tour 2002 comes near you.

if you haven't noticed, I have a new tuneage section on the right section, under the sarah baker shrine. I'll keep the links of music that I'm currently listening to updated, but for now check out the cornelius site - it has a good bit of a / v on it. watch the video for I Hate Hate.

I'm not that bright update:
I thought that my roomates and I weren't paying for our internet access, but it turnes out that the bill is actually included in our cable bill. oh well. at least I hopefully believe now that the karma see-saw may be balanced.

jeff mangum interview is up at pitchfork. an amazing person. if our society was set up structurally around honesty and spirituality, like in some eastern cultures, understanding and love would prevail. instead, we hide from the truth by easily accepting dogma's that are comfortably set in place in our society, we lie to ourselves and others by simply not questioning and just blindly conform to our society's norms, and, as a result, suppress the truth, and the search for truth. few are able and willing to face this, break out, and purge assumptions imposed on them through honestly facing the truth, and when that happens, sometimes beautiful art is revealed in the wake - such is the music of jeff mangum.
thanks mat

woke up today with my at&t email address gone. I'm in a spot, cause, well, we haven't received an internet provider bill in our 4 months at the house. ahem. and I'd rather not receive one. ever. would you? if we get a huge bill covering our useage since we first received the service, then fine, we'll pay, no problem. but as of now I want to not disrupt the flow of freeness, so I can't really call them or go through their web help programs because I'm not listed as a user, and don't want to be listed. so I've switched to a yahoo account, and it's updated on the page here. transferring addresses and sending change-of-addy emails has taken up most of my morning, so I gotsta get back on the work.

mat started a bike blog . go there now and be the first on your block to see it.

thank you mat for the redesign of the korner. fresh and exciting.

have you heard the rumors floating around Hollywood that john nash, the person that the film a beautiful mind is based upon, is an anti-semite ? it's not true. check out this ny times piece about "ugly oscar tactics." if you don't want to register for the site here's the nutshell - apparently there's been an attempt by other studios to tarnish nash and the film's reputation where it counts - with the mostly jewish academy voters. these "other" studios, like miramax, which was caught, hire guys who cultivate these rumors, feeding them to pariahs like matt drudge, then tip off columnists at the nytimes and latimes to follow the story. the right people catch wind of the words anti-semite and john nash, and then stay away from voting for it. in an effort to control the damage and speak the truth, the author of the book of which the film was based wrote a piece to the la times wednesday discounting the rumors, and now nash himself is appearing on 60 minutes this sunday.
I hope the program will expose these dirty tactics. but I really hope it will expose people like drudge, to show people that his page is as reliable as the enquirer. I can't stand that guy.
but there is another issue, hovering above this story, not concerned with whether or not he is a bigot, but moreover whether the movie should be punished for something the man did. the movie is not the man, and the man not the movie, so why should it matter? ron howard, jennifer connelly, russell crowe, and the other actors and producers of the film aren't anti-semites, so why should they suffer? john nash went on set once, very briefly, and met everyone involved, that's it. I dunno, why am I getting worked up about this on a sturday morning? look, if you haven't seen the movie, go and see it. if you have, and you're riled up - talk to me !

this page is titled "what's wrong with this picture". having said that, this does not help my still very vulnerable and paranoid state. thanks for freakin me out again, lisa.

do you know about the west memphis 3 ?

crowd to britney: "urine trouble!" that's an awfully cheesy headline, innit. thanks mat

jeff's movie documenting steve's 30th B-day surprise party is simply great. like mat and harper's wedding video, he shows how much he knows us all by using those moments that show folks simply as they are - oh, and great music, too.

la weekly article / interview on ron and scott asheton of the stooges playing with mike watt and j. mascis this weekend at all tomorrow's. I'm in need of funds at the moment, and am hoping for some miracle to get by the $50 ticket price.

you'd be scared too

my current project is the film poltergeist - and as I'm typing away at the desk here in my empty house, the only sounds I hear are my fingers punching the keyboard and the strong winds shaking leaves, wind chimes, and trees outside. so here I was 10 minutes ago - when out of nowhere - my roomates boombox starts blaring out an old robert johnson song. I went in to turn it off and it felt kind of creepy. I also think the door opened a little more than it should have. help me.

most recent "I'm in California" moment:
2:47 pm -- upon returning from trader joe's I watch as 4 hispanic men get into a fight in the middle of santa monica blvd. one fended off three holding pieces of a broken chair. It is unclear if any of them are or were at one time ninja's.

all work and no play makes me want to watch bad ass fighting ninja stick figures , served with a generous side of cheesy guitar solo.

wow - mat sure is creative. that is annie and kool bobby, by the way. no, we're not on drugs.

Last night I went to the groundlings I had no idea what I was getting into, I just figured it was another off night improv-y something show. boy was I surprised. It turned out to be one of the funniest live shows I've ever seen. the show was titled Talent Showcase, and it was headed by an "acting teacher" named beverley winwood (susan yeagley). the premise being that this was the showcase for her actors ( note- if you're a christopher guest fanatic, like me, then you would have crapped your pants ) ok, so this set the stage for her actors to come out and perform scenes from famous films, plays, and shows - like death of a salesman and sex and the city. highlights include - michael hitchcock ( from best in show, waiting for guffman ) as Berle Dawson- sweatpants - conservative wig and big glasses wearing energetic freak who did a frenetic Rent medley - complete with screeches and screams.
Then there was jennifer coolidge as Fern Magnin - I don't know how to explain her character except by saying her wig couldn't possibly make it through a door frame. it was like her best in show character on acid, performing "john turraturro's" (as she called him) scene from search and destroy where he's talking about cocaine and a mets game. insane.
nat faxon and christen nelson did a scene from children of a lesser god - probably the best duo performance - it was like sarah baker's kindergarden character ( who stated before the scene began that whatever signing she didn't know, she would just say the lines ) and a mike anderson character who barked everyone of his lines while puffing his chest and immediately taking off his shirt.

there were others, too - paul reubens and mindy sterling ( frau farbissina in austinpowers ) in hilarious and bizarre characters.

after the show you could meet and greet the actors still in character -- I literally just blinked and stared with my jaw open listening and trying to talk to coolidge, nat faxon, and patrick bristow.

I like this town more every day.

warning - celeb name dropping post, for a first timer who had an all access pass at the SAG Awards show


somehow I found myself on the proverbial red carpet during yesterday's SAG awards. yes, I called my mom, and a couple of friends, and you could actually see me in the background while Jules and Steve Ko-met-co were interviewing ben kingsley, as well as a few others. I was ' That Guy ' in the background with a cellphone on my ear. pathetic, yes. fun, oh yes!

to list the celebs I was very close to would be lengthy, but a couple of fun moments during the show and at the after party:
1. meeting a champagne guzzling jim broadbent as he was staring perplexed at an evian filled water massage bed with a petite blonde shimmying onto her back. "What the hell is that - ( he looks around ) - an orgasmatron?"

3. minnie driver 2 feet away from me getting her dress stuck on some terribly embarrassed young lady's sequened purse for an uncomfortable-for-them yet funny-for-me 4 minutes.

4. overhearing minnie driver introducing herself to robert altman and mentioning how she'd love to be in one of his films.

5. russell crowe and adam goldberg smokin cigs with jennifer connolly. russell was very touchy touchy with her. I became jealous of his aussie star power in flirting with her. it's cool, though, my band is better than his.

6. jennifer connolly. of all the beautiful women there - including halle berry, cameron diaz, minnie driver, nicole kidman, uma thurman, connolly was by far the sexiest. I couldn't take my eyes off her. she WILL be mine. I'd pull a Say Anything boombox bit oustide her window. that unbelievably attractive.

7. almost the entire cast of the sopranos hangin out together in a room at the party, like, well, the sopranos. pretty funny if you saw it. joe pantoliano, by the way, gets my vote for "guy who i think is the most cool and down-to-earth" at the show. during the actual show, while I was in the media room, many celebs would walk through to go to the bathroom. ryan phillippe twice , both times with head down-- too cool for school. david spade, as cocky as I thought he was ( in an "I'm walking to the bathroom" kinda way ), but joe pantoliano came in and just started yappin on to whoever would listen, often snapping pictures or winking at people like me. quite funny in contrast to the others.

8.on the red carpet before the show, I was excited, of course, and spun around at one point, where I very nearly head-butted sam waterson.

I tried hard to get in as many celeb pic's as possible. I haven't had a chance to look online yet, but I will post any that have my mug in them tomorrow.

I think it's time americans laughed to the soothing yet hysterical witticisms of kool bobby. more than that, I'm a hell of an interviewer, plus more! example of typical line of questioning from kb:
so, (" person ") what are you up to ?
what's that like?
what else do you?
is that cool?
where are you from?
what was that town like?
that must've been something, how 'bout it?

then, when the crowd is worked to a frenzy and riled up from the hilarity, just before we "cut to commercial" ( insider talk ) , I whip out a caricature of the celeb I had secretely been drawing with one hand under the table while interviewing ! the crowd will go insane, then a cut to commercial, and suited exec's come over and offer me gift baskets.

I know, it is good. so call and write FOX to tell them I am the one.

the lauren tewes fan page is hi- lary - us today. she has such a large cache of photographia that she references odd clothes through her pic's. she probably has a picture of me, and I've never met her.

craziest?

crazy and crazier

etv has been my life for the past 8 months. I've thoroughly enjoyed working as a freelancer for TNT. Matt Williams, my old friend Adam's brother, is a great guy and has really allowed me to explore creatively in this interesting project. He also goes out of his way to do whatever he can for people. I can't say enough about him, he is truly a special person. there's something about that williams clan.
so the site works like this : eventually it will have a large library of films that will also be shown on TNT. you, potential or lifelong TNT viewer, check out the site, read the trivia which I have researched and written ( yay!), then either watch along as the movie simulcasts on the cable station, or just watch the movie on the station, sans trivia supplement. if you have webtv, I think you can watch it on your tv screen. this is the preliminary run of the project, so there are some bugs, to let you know. enjoy!

I saw two movies recently which I think are damn funny. one is wet hot american summer, which came out in october, and the other is john landis and the zucker bros. kentucky fried movie. they both are not at all high brow humor. one of them contains an extra fart audio track on the dvd, the other is even more obnoxious than airplane. I loved them. funny as hell. wet hot american summer was written by a couple of guys from the old show The State, and also features janeane garafolo, david hyde pearce and amy poehler, who is already top in her freshman season SNL class. I have loved her work since her days, before upright citizen's brigade, as andy richter's brace-faced younger sister character on conan.
w.h.a.s. is a spoof of all those meatballs - y summer camp films. it seems so stupid on one hand, yet it keeps bouncing along, taking bizarre angles to typical summer camp storylines. funny stuff. I have wondered what those people on the state were up to. I want to be in the sequel.

memo to tostitos

thick and chunky salsa
must be fresh and kept in the cold section
for me to purchase. your half assed attempt
to lure me further into your processed world
has failed. your salsa is like ketchup with funky fake veggies.
your chips may have gotten me through the last century-
but it's a new world now.
salty, bland, and tired.
fuck off ! you maker of shitty chips and salsa.

worst internet ad ever. I won't say who sent this to me, as I'm not sure if they used said product. he he.

back on the solid food train! wahoo! I woke up and cooked eggs, turkey sausage, biscuits, and cinnamon rolls for annie and kalen. it was yummy, too, If I may say. It has been 45 minutes or so since I ate and I am still bracing for the "For the Love of God - Make Way !!" dreaded reaction from my system, but so far so good.

this was the best thing I’ve done for myself in years. I feel so damn good I can’t stand it. my skin is clean, my body feels charged, my mental faculties are sharp. I will definitely do this more often.

I highly recommend the juice fast if:
1. you feel toxic. you know what I mean. you just feel gross.
2. you want to experience what it feels like for your body to be flushed and cleansed.
3. you want to quit smoking. This has helped me tremendously, thus far. It’s, I think, the best way to kick the habit. by overwhelming your body in stopping bad ingesting habits, wanting to smoke tends to not be the most pressing desire. then, I hope, after the fast is completed, the initial 3 day freak out of quitting is over, AND you have already flushed more nicotine out of your system than if you had stopped for a week or so. That helps.
4. you want a break from the monotony of habits and normalcy. I find this helps my creative process.

As far as what to drink and buy. here’s what I say :

I decided to logically buy as much of the spectrum of juices - both fruit, vegetable, and anywhere in between. Not just for quantity, but a good selection. from pineapple, to organic apple, to fresh squeezed OJ, to carrot and celery juice, to V-8 type tomato juices, to blended juice drinks. I also bought fruit to blend up into juice smoothy concoctions. Then just take it easy and try it out, experimenting and learning to listen to your body. that’s the best advice I can give, just learn to feel your way through it. also - don’t drink the juice fast, just sip it. this helps coat the belly over time and will extend periods of satisfaction.

Sometimes your stomach will not want all the citric acid and other acids found in the juices. so you may need to cut the juices with some water. I did this quite often.

exercise - the first day I ran for just 15 min, to get the sweat going, then sat in the steam shower for 10 minutes, to purge and release as many of the sweat glands in my body as possible. this was a good decision - I think it sped up the cleansing process. I didn’t exercise after this, as I needed to take it easy.

your digestive system may be volitile, so know this too.

good luck if you’re going to do it - it works!

note - I am not a health freak now. just testifyin to the juice fast, baby.