ALL TOMORROWS PARTIES - LA 2002. damn, the sunday show is sold out with sonic youth, stereolab, mike watt's secondmen, peaches, bardo pond. the other days are still open though.

at least I'll get to see peaches with john waters in february. I can't wait to see those freakjobs.

something awful. awfully funny, I say. thanks ezra.

my friend jim is visiting LA and doin some business. he brought his playstation 2. it sits in the living room, over my left shoulder. right there. from here where I work and from where I type this right now. it just sits there. i think it watches me. it mocks me, that I know for sure.

" bobby, come touch my padded controller. come on, touch it. what, too busy working? now that's funny. you -- working. no, seriously. funny shit, kool bobby. "

" hey, leave me alone. I have work to do."

" your killing me you lying bastard. jim told me all about you. "

" ok, that's enough. " ( I go to unplug it )

" wo - hey , just kiddin bobby. heh . hey - I got karaoke too -- huh ?"

" karaoke, huh ? "

I have no idea what Jibangus means. nor do I know what the nuts I was just watching on their site. these guys do short, disturbingly funny films. apparently they have a lot of time ( and poo ) on their hands. I love poo. do you? do you love poo too?
sent by the good-smelling and distinguished highbrow, sir mike anderson.

I have a chips and salsa hang-over from the indominable casa vega. this casa, in the valley, gives host to a number of tequila and fried flour starved individuals each night. It's not "Baja" or healthy mexican food, its lard-filled and deep fried throughout and I love it. the salsa's hot and the chips have the right amount of salt and crunchiness and everytime I leave I feel bloated and for good reason: from the moment I step into its dark covey doors, my arm starts jittering, just waiting to start shoveling chips and salsa into my mouth. when we finally sit all conversation stops and a mad scramble ensues. chip, salsa, mouth. repeat. tears streaming down my face. glorious pain. order something that I can't possibly eat but its ok here at casa vega. no judgement eating. its low lighting reminds me of a cheap strip club, and for good reason. folks are here to sin and indulge. god bless casa vega.

happy birthday bobby!!
( not this bobby )

for michael and lance-

News from the Star Wars Network:

george lucas apparently took a soft and quick poo today, according to an unnamed source from deep within the Lucas compound. "he whistled upon shutting the door, which is usually a good sign", said the source, revealing himself only as "eppy-2".

eppy-2 did not say if the poo or its after effects on Lucas will have any bearing on the upcoming May release of Star Wars - Episoide 2 : Attack of the Clones, which is due out in May. The film will be shown in theater's at that time. In May.


in other news, one of the bushes within the Lucas compound has died. known as TRX - 1138.289-45, the plant was dug out of the ground and promptly removed from the property. A throng of Lucas supporters seemed to gather outside the compound all wearing memorial orange suits, until it was later discovered that the group was actually inmates performing roadside clean-up.

the source did not speculate if the bush's passing will effect the upcoming May release of Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of The Clones, which is due out in May. Nor was it stated whether the orange suited inmates saw any inside footage of the new film from their roadside view. The film, Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of The Clones, is set to release at theaters nationwide in May.

stay tuned !

The Official Ninja Homepage. this is too funny. shit, I shouldn't have said that, now I'm afraid my head will be chopped off. damn. look what you've got me into mat.

the echo of odd clonking shoes
I've not heard before
yet approaching closer
to my home office door.
the creak of the gate
and someone's approaching quite slow
I dare to look out
Hey, where did the usual postal worker go?

mat has a great article on plastic's short and turbulent history. I done read it and I might go back for seconds. the boy's got talent.

heather waxes on about traffic, pat benatar, and her dictophone. I read her site every day, even when she doesn't post. she's smart and funny. you see sarah ? it can be done. just don't start "karaoke'ing" benatar too, ok ? seriously. don't.

cool song from a band called my morning jacket. go to the audio section (it's the headphone icon at the bottom of the page). they're touring on the west coast with the recently formed 'eyes adrift' which features former nirvana bassist kris novaselic, current and former meat puppet curt kirkwood, and former sublime member bud. here are the tour dates. thanks wattlisters.

beakdip banters yesterday about high school and rush.

I felt a great disturbance in the force this morning. I don't know what it was. sadness maybe. a lot of sad people today. well I won't have that here. not here. instead I say we rejoice for being alive. kick your cubicle folks, but not in a sad way. in a happy way. you see? happy! here's something that'll make you laugh, my white white fanny. it's in the thong vid. go ahead, I don't care. laugh at my pasty white cheeks. thousands already have. no, my ass wasn't powdered. it's natural. all natural and white. really white. if my whole body was the color of my fanny then people would constantly try and check my pulse. if people pay more for white meat, then my fanny is priceless. the caviar of white meat. free range white meat. lightly exercised plump rump. caution: it may look cold, but it's oh-so-hot ladies. hot bright white fanny. great white fanny. caution: a great white fanny has been spotted. get out of the water. somebody call quint.
oh, I've overstayed my welcome again. sorry.

simple solutions to complex problems. I like that.

I spent time and effort in my boogers story yesterday and I have yet to receive any feedback. i think it's the crown jewel of the website. i think it could possibly be put up against anything in the new yorker or the oxford american. I think it could be the basis for a one act play. and I chose to let the reader's here at kbk have a first glance at it ( duh - just like hbo does) and I get nothing. well, folks, sorry to be rude, but I live in a town called hollywood, ok. ever heard of it? I'll give you a hint, it's near a place called "where the movie magic happens". there are people who would claw through a clogged toilet of boiling poo to get a piece like this. your loss, just don't call me ina couple of months all of a sudden praising the boogie piece when I've got a man named coppola directing a one act for me.

somebody marry this lady, please.

I think I'm in love with jennifer connelly.

california is dry as hell.
this is the one part of the westward move which I have yet to acclamate. every day - dry, dry, boogies. these dried parchment pieces don't deserve the fun visualizations that one imagines when one says the word boogie. you say booger and I think thick wet gooey balls of snot. I grew up with these plump fluid filled nuggets. my parents made me get allergy shots in an attempt to rid myself of these glorious goodies, but to no avail - I soon established a new allergy to cats, forever solidifying the quasi-habitual visitations with my gooey neighbors to the north.
but all that has changed since I left the fertile mucus lands of the south.
I now find myself sniffling and often probing my nasal orifices from time to time in a pathetic and fruitless attempt to resurrect these dried flakes and turn them back into the plump and moist tissue bullets which they so aspire to be.

you say get a humidifier, I say if I end up with one more noisey gadget in my room I'll have successfuly replicated an ICU room.

no, I am to go through this arid part of my life journey without a crutch.
bood bye dear boogies. see you in that eastern crossing, lads.

article on randy's political career in the atlanta paper. the article also quotes Dr. Stephen Boyle, the county coroner. that's Tom's dad.

monday morning regrets:

I have some apologies to make to mat and other friends who have tried to push mercury rev's deserter's songs on me for years. I never gave it a chance and wrote it off as "not me". well yesterday I finally gave it a listen as I was driving around looking for a good sunset spot. I don't know why the disc was inside my cd holder, I didn't put it there. my roomate didn't put it there. yet there it was and I put it in and was immmediately taken by its beauty. the whole album. beautiful , sweet, innocent, grand.

i should listen to my friends more often.

my uncle randy poynter died in his sleep sunday morning. he was 49. it was a complete surprise to everyone in the family. he wasn't even actually my uncle, he was my father's cousin. my sis and I always referred to him as uncle. especially when he was county commissioner of our town and we were rowdy teenagers getting in trouble. ok, especially when I was a rowdy teenager getting in trouble.
we didn't see each other that often. whenever I did see him, i always felt relaxed and important. randy made you feel important. I had never really felt important in my late teens and early 20's but when I was around him I certainly did; and not in a stuffy, holier-than thou way at all. randy simply gave all of his attention to you. that's probably why he was such a good politician.
he was indeed a "mover and shaker" - he was commissioner of Rockdale county, where I grew up, while still quite young. while in office he became head of the atlanta regional commission, a new and influential commission faced with the daunting task of trying to come up with solutions for the out of control growth found in metro atlanta in the 90's. he excelled at the a.r.c. and gained respect from many of the state's political leaders. randy championed useful solutions to environmental issues. he ran a hard fought, respectable, and clean campaign for lieutenant governor in 96. after the campaign he ran an environmental consulting firm that also was involved in the purchase and operation of local water and waste water systems. he was on a short list of nominees for the regional leader of the EPA.

that's a very brief (and probably not 100% accurate) depiction, I am scrambling to think of all he did in public service.

I took the news pretty hard yesterday, not due to our personal relationship, but because he was such a good person and it's a travesty when good folks are taken early. he has two boys ages 19 and 21. he has a wonderful wife. his political career was waiting to emerge.
I drove high into the hills until I found a view of the city and the ocean where i could watch the sunset and quietly pay respects to a great person. as i watched I thought the sun set much quicker than usual yesterday. it didn't make it any less beautiful, in fact, it was almost aware of its early departure and to make amends it left the sky emblazened in amazing colors that seemed to linger well into the night.

beakdip at 31

back in 97
I met you then.
ATL ' ers worn and thin.
wrinkled and withered
weathered and torn
yet the perfect space
for a kinship born
not from the local 'necessity of greed'
or due to "y'all's" strange buddy named 'ceebs'
but because of
the beer in your hand
being held by a grin
and a welcome glow
that ushered me in
(with background mood supplied by the minutemen!)
just a sample shot
of what you give
to friends of old and new.
I remember we sat there on myrtle
as the tunes played
and we griped about
how we hadn't been laid
and frustrations of the town where we stayed
I quickly smiled
and settled in
relishing escape in a new found friend.

happy birthday jefe!






**note the smoothe consolidation of poem friday and birthday wishes. also note the 'e' I put on the end of smooth for a velvety effect.

an article on the new head of cultural affairs at UCLA. Sefton is the guy who's bringing the States the all tomorrow's party this March. here's a snip from the article-

"Sefton was hired away from London's South Bank Centre, where he programmed "Contemporary Culture" in the Royal Festival Hall and founded an enormously popular summer festival, "Meltdown." He got away with most of what he tried there. "Of course there was a sense that I was there as a token gesture to radical culture. And there was that sense of "Oh, I'm not sure we can do that.' But at the same time, in my last festival, I did put a band called Fuckhead onstage at the Royal Festival Hall -- who did finish the show completely nude and covered in wallpaper paste. Mad, extreme, Austrian. And the fact is, I was allowed to do this, in the center of the old guard, the absolutely conventional cultural establishment."

david cross, of "man that dude is really funny" fame, has a short article called NEW YORK SUCKS - So Why Did I Move Here? sometimes I wish I could hate new york too.

I've just happily procrastinated here at The Love Calculator. I saw this on ezra's site. I too received a high percentage on ex-girlfriends, EZ, but not nearly as high as the name buddy hackett. for reasons beyond my control (94%), I am drawn to this man's spirit.

an amazing artist. jonathan lerman is 14 and has autism. I'm far from educated when it comes to art, but I know when art touches me, and some of his work punches.

news that will probably upset sarah baker:
Adam Ant Committed to Mental Hospital.

"They've put me in the 'Alice in Wonderland' ward because they think I'm crazy," the tabloid quoted Ant as saying. "The whole thing's a conspiracy and they are out to get me. I'm not mad."

no, adam, that doesn't sound crazy at all. paranoid delusions, then denial..... nah, you're fine.

this young lady is my new favorite young actor. I saw her in ghost world where she stole the show from thora birch and almost buscemi, and then she amazed me again in the man who wasn't there. I also love that her name is scarlett. I don't love the fact that I'm 11 years older than her.

I just discovered a local website gem: the L.A. EXAMINER. this is exactly the sort of alternative content I was after. It's tough when this whole town's printed papers are pretty much at the mercy of one bohemoth, the LA Times. Atlanta suffers from this problem as well, as it's only paper consistently pushes out the competition at whatever cost. well, apparently the same thing happens here. the la examiner site has a good blurb on this article on their front page.

Columbia to release Uncle Tupelo's out-of-print catalog well that's good news. the two off- shoots of this band have had a big impact on me since the early 90's. I still swear by son volt's trace and wilco's being there. and if you've never heard uncle tupelo's no depression, well then you should do yourself the favor.

Sheffield Traded to Braves
I hope this works out. I love Brian Jordan, it'll be tough watching him go, and Odalis but, wow, Gary Sheffield. This guy will probably end up in the hall of fame. so the outfield will be chipper, andruw and sheffield. not bad.

hey let's all move to boise!

from senor honan

wait, just hold on. none of that last post is true. I'm really not that hot right now. not even tepid. I know many of you thought you were "riding along with an original pimp" type of character - well it simply isn't the case. wow, this is hard.....

I'm terribly sorry for fooling thousands and thousands of you into thinking I am the hippest , most fierce tiger in the zoo (of life).

I don't blame you if you don't come back.

It's like I just woke up today and realized I've been spelling cool and corner with freakin' K's folks. what the hell is that?
that isn't me.
I run a Judi Dench email list for christ sakes.
I think red pistachios are sent from heaven.
On the weekends I sit around in my one piece PJ outfit and make up sniglets.

that's not so cool, is it?

(sigh) well, I feel much better.

thanks for sticking around, I ..... hey, where are you going? please don't ...... you're going to buy milk now? I have milk........ no it's not sweet acidopholous. but.... ok, ok, I see. cool, I'll be here waiting for you to come back, ok?

damn! maybe when the band heads LA way they'll catch up on a fact that the LAFD has known for some time now -- that kool bobby is sooo hot. so hot he needs to be extinguished a couple times a day. he's so hot he has the FD on speed dial.
"chief, looks like we got another case of hot pants".
"be right there, kool bobby."
"cool ...... late." click.
what ya think? KBK and L Biz K ?
what do you mean can I play guitar well?
L Biz K will feel the heat and know what time it is.

on the maintenance tip, the comment boxes have been doing weird things lately- things which I cannot explain. I'll do my best to keep things running, as I know many of you now count on kbk for your daily dose of culture, politics, and fresh opinion. don't stop. believin. (hold on to thy feeeelaayyeeeeeyaaayaayyyaaaa). if anyone can tell me what steve perry is saying right there, I'll give you a free subscription here, no questions asked.

damn, I have another cold. I just had one like 2 weeks ago. what the nuts. yesterday morning with the congestion and the snot, today with more congestion and snot, and like an added bonus, no taste. that's quite odd isn't it - losing your taste. I don't much care for it , but this way I can at least start to make some progress in the huge cache of healthy food I optimistically purchase every time I go to the grocery. if you can't taste it, what's the difference?
you folks are welcome to quote that last sentence, by the way.

mike watt does a webcast radio show once or twice a month. as mat's fears are indeed becoming true, I am slowly turning into a full on music nerd (save yourself, mat). I don't care. anyway, this show is always interesting, but the latest show is a real treat as thurston moore (sonic youth) sits in with watt. if you have a streaming audio player, this link will let you listen to the watt from pedro show!

ted demme died yesterday while playing basketball for a charity event. wow, he was only 38. ted demme directed blow. I've also seen him a few times on IFC interviewing other directors. 38 is entirely too young to collapse and die. hmmmmmmm

www.anniehumphrey.com I had no idea the larry was both a native american and a folk singer. hmmmm, what's with the english accent?

my town moves in slow motion,
flaunting ( and taunting!)
the fruits of restraint,
the discipline,
the careful pause
of not contributing
to the economy of las vegas.
cursed desert passage.
I hear the glib whispers
and cutting glances
telling me to hold.
jack and coke please?

let the star wars craze begin! with over four months remaining 'til the film opens, these two knuckleheads are already in line.
hope they can stay close to the warm side of the force.
(from michael sweeney)

some more NYE02 pictures by the sensational mat honan. thanks ezra for the link to the music.

here is what DJ Queen Agnes B was playin New Years Eve. as many of you have heard or read, she was just swell with the mixin and the cuttin and the headphones and the hands and the hair and the smiles. mmmmmm. I've been stung.

sitting near a kitchen
what is this strange
noise
rush shush
rush shush
shit it's
my pearls.
stop it.
like they can feel early sundays pulse from here
or is it they never got stamped from last year.
u m tss u m tss u m t ss s
everyone hands ?

sweet sweet goodness. honan and harper have been mopping this stuff up for a while. I discovered it in a munchie run to the corner grocery store. mat goes medium salsa roja, I go caliente. y'know, for the sinuses.

me confessions to kick off the new year. I need to get it off the chest, folks

1. I absolutely love the foo fighters 'everlong'. I think it should be played before most sporting events.

2. sometimes I can't quit watching blind date.

3. same thing with urban cowboy.

4. I don't really know the lyrics to most of the songs I sing. instead I listen to you and mimmick what you say.

5. while alone waiting in an airport, for some strange reason I carry entirely too much attitude than I should.

ok thanks for reading. I feel better, and wasted a good few minutes from work in the meantime.